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  “This is Svetlana,” Sonia cut in. “Her friend owns the restaurant I told you about.”

  “Yes, and where is this restaurant, exactly?” Natalia asked.

  “It’s a lovely little town in Italy. Brindisi, on the Adriatic Sea. You’ll love it there. If we agree to have you.”

  “Natalia is a fast learner. And a hard worker,” Sonia offered eagerly. “Look how strong she is. And how pretty!”

  “Yes, she is a pretty girl,” Svetlana conceded. “Cigarette?” she offered a pack.

  “No, thank you,” Natalia replied.

  “And a healthy one, too. That’s good.”

  “Who said I’d agreed to go with this anyway?” Natalia tried not to sound defensive.

  “Why wouldn’t you?” Svetlana was taken aback. “I thought that’s why you came to see me?”

  “I promised Sonia I’d speak to you. That’s all.”

  “Don’t you want to earn some money? Don’t you want a better life?” Svetlana seemed offended.

  “My life isn’t so bad.”

  Svetlana took another drag on her cigarette and shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she exhaled. An uncomfortable silence hung over the table.

  “Svetlana lived in Drosti when she was a little girl.” Sonia made an effort to break the impasse.

  “Yes. I knew Raisa when we were children. Isn’t that so, Raisa?”

  Raisa nodded.

  “And you’ve spent some time in Italy?” Natalia asked.

  “I visit Italy quite frequently,” said Svetlana.

  “Her husband is a businessman,” Sonia offered.

  “And who is the owner of this restaurant?” said Natalia.

  “This girl has many questions. Very good,” said Svetlana. “She wants to know what she is getting herself into.”

  “Oh, no,” Natalia shook her head. She refused to be manipulated. They couldn’t suck her in against her will. This woman had the power to turn her life upside down. For the better, maybe, but then again maybe for the worse.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Svetlana asked.

  “Natalia doesn’t want to leave her family,” Sonia tried to explain.

  “I see,” said Svetlana. “You’ve never been away from home before? It’s only natural you’d be a little worried. The world can be a frightening place.”

  “I have been away,” Natalia countered.

  “To Tiraspol,” Sonia added.

  “Tiraspol?!” Svetlana laughed. “Oh, honey… Tiraspol doesn’t count.”

  “Even if I wanted to go with you, it’s impossible. I don’t have a passport. Besides, the Italians would never accept it anyway. Not from Transnistria.”

  “But Svetlana can help us get Moldovan passports!” said Sonia.

  “That’s right. I have a good connection in Chisinau. You just leave that to me.”

  Natalia lifted her keys and phone from the table. “I think I’d better be going. Thank you for your time.” She glanced at Sonia briefly, noting the look of disappointment on her friend’s face, and then bolted from the room.

  Out on the sidewalk, Sonia caught up to Natalia before she’d opened the car door. “Tell me,” Sonia said. “What do you want out of life?”

  “I just want to be happy, like anyone,” Natalia faced her. “And I want to be left alone.”

  “Are you happy? Because I don’t think so. I think that your life is filled with sadness. I think you are resigned to this sadness, as though it was simply your fate, but you’re wrong Natalia. Misery is not your fate!”

  “Sonia, don’t do this,” Natalia pleaded.

  “You’re using your family as an excuse, just because you had one bad experience outside this place.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Tell me then, what do you think it will take to make you happy? Can you really find it here?”

  “Why are you so sure that the key to happiness is leaving? The key to happiness is in here,” Natalia touched her chest. “It is in learning to be content with what you have, not chasing after what you don’t.”

  Sonia licked her lips and thought carefully about her response. “I know I’m not happy here and I never will be,” she began. “Getting out is my only chance and I want you to come with me. We’ve been together our whole lives. Ever since we were little girls, clinging to our mothers skirts. Do you remember, the day that we first met?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “Your mother brought you to meet me. She wanted you to have a friend. I can picture you here in the doorway, standing just behind her, trying to hide,” Sonia laughed. “You were so shy back then.”

  “And you were so loud.”

  “I suppose things haven’t changed so much, have they? Who would have thought we’d still be together, after all of these years?”

  “So why insist that it end?”

  “Please, Natalia, don’t make me beg. If you don’t like it in Italy you can always come home.”

  Natalia opened the door to the Lada and climbed in, dropping her phone on the passenger seat and placing the keys in the ignition. She gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands and stared straight ahead. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Do you mean that?”

  “Do I have to say it again?” Natalia snapped.

  Sonia could hardly contain her glee. “Just picture it! The two of us in Italy, earning eight hundred euros a month… You’ll wonder what you were ever so worried about!”

  Natalia started up the engine and quickly drove away.

  Chapter Four

  Natalia sat in her family’s weather-beaten farmhouse with her nephew Valery in her lap. She held a brush in one hand and ran it through the child’s hair, his head gently bobbing with each stroke. Nearby, Olga held squirming Tatiana while Constantine played with wooden cars on the floor, wheezing noises coming from his labored breathing.

  “It must be so strange for you here,” said Natalia. “Without Leon around.”

  Olga appeared bewildered by the comment but said nothing in return.

  “I mean, living with a family that’s not your own…”

  “You’d prefer that I left?!” Olga replied.

  “No, that’s not it at all.”

  “And take the children with me? You think I should go back to my parents’ place?”

  “No, no! I’m sorry, I just… I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is not so bad here, really, is it?”

  Olga tilted her head sideways slightly as she studied Natalia’s face. “Are we really talking about me?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I always knew you had a little of your brother in you. That wild streak. It comes from your mother, you know.”

  “I can’t see what that has to do with anything.”

  “You’re leaving us. Aren’t you? It doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been expecting it.”

  “I haven’t made any decisions.”

  “Did you hope I’d talk you out of it? That I’d tell you to stay here on the farm where you belong? If you really wanted that advice, you’d have gone to someone else.”

  “I wasn’t looking for advice.”

  “Then why bring it up at all?”

  “I didn’t realize that I had. But now that we’re talking about it, think of the money I could send back to you and the children if I did go,” Natalia tried to justify herself. “It could make such a difference.”

  “Don’t go for us. Go for yourself, if that’s what you want. Go because the life you deserve is out there somewhere. We’ll get along without you.”

  Before Natalia could say any more, the front door opened and Rita bounded in. “What’s going on in here?”

  “Your sister was just telling me that she’s leaving us,” Olga said.

  Natalia’s pulse quickened. There it was, out in the open.

  “Leaving us?” said Rita. “What are you talking about? Where are you going?”

  “Maybe to Italy. But only for a little while,” said Nat
alia.

  “Italy!” Rita replied. “I want to go to Italy!”

  “It’s ok, don’t be so upset,” said Natalia.

  “How come you get to go to Italy? It’s not fair! I’ll have to do twice the work!”

  Natalia rose to her feet and took Rita by the shoulders before leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead. “You I will miss the most.” She wrapped her arms around her sister and embraced her tightly. The decision was made. Natalia was leaving after all.

  Sitting on a small wooden bench in front of the barn, Natalia sent a quick text to her boyfriend Vitaly as daylight faded from the sky. Can you talk? A moment later, her phone rang. “Hi, Vitaly,” she answered.

  “What’s up?”

  “Not much, how are you?”

  “Bored. God, it’s so damn boring here. I can’t wait until it’s over already.”

  “Just a few more months.”

  “Yeah. A few more months.”

  “It’s not so exciting around here, either.”

  “At least there’s no sergeant breathing down your neck all the time.”

  “Is it that bad?”

  “I’ll be surprised if I don’t strangle that son-of-a-bitch before I’m done.”

  “Don’t do anything foolish.”

  Vitaly’s desperation was evident in the ensuing pause. “I think of you, waiting for me. That’s what gets me through.”

  Now it was Natalia’s turn to feel pressured. “I’m glad, Vitaly. I am.”

  “Why does that sound so unconvincing?”

  “There’s something I have to tell you. I’m going away for a while.”

  “Going where? For how long?!”

  “Sonia and I are going to Italy. We found some jobs there.”

  “Damn it, Natalia, two more months and I’ll be back home! You can’t do this to me!”

  “I’m sorry, Vitaly. Maybe you can come to visit me.”

  “You know I can’t do that, Natalia. I have the farm to think about!”

  “Really, Vitaly, I’m sorry. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise. It’s only temporary.”

  “Can’t we talk about this later? Don’t make any hasty decisions. You need to think this through.”

  “I already have. I’m going.”

  “Don’t do this, Natalia!”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you soon.” Only when Natalia hung up did she realize that she hadn’t said those three magic words. Maybe it wasn’t too late. I love you, she texted. As the first stars began blinking on high above, she sat and waited for a response. None came.

  Chapter Five

  With the Nicolaev family gathered outside to bid Natalia farewell, Ivanka struggled to keep up her stoic appearance. “Let go of her!” she scolded the two boys, who clung to Natalia’s legs. “Go on!” She shooed them away and moved in to give her daughter a bear hug.

  “Careful momma, you’ll squeeze the wind out of me!” Natalia tried to laugh.

  “Any girl of mine is strong enough for a hug.” Ivanka squeezed even harder before releasing her daughter to take a good last look. “You be careful out there, and don’t forget us!”

  “After that hug? Never.” Natalia did her best to keep the mood light. She wasn’t used to goodbyes. Not like this. The last time she left, she’d run off without a word, sneaking away on a cold winter morning to Tiraspol, the capital of this forlorn breakaway republic of Transnistria. After one week hunting for her brother Leon, she’d finally found him living in an abandoned building, no water no power. She’d thought she would bring him home with her, but Leon had other ideas, and so Natalia came back to Drosti on her own, devastated by her failure. This time she fought a different swirl of emotions as she prepared to leave once more, from anxiety about the journey ahead to elation that she was actually going through with it. From joy at the adventures awaiting her to sorrow at leaving familiarity behind.

  “You’d better write to us,” said Olga. “Only don’t make it sound too good or I might come and join you.”

  “As long as you bring the kids along,” Natalia smiled at her nephews.

  “We’d better get going or you’ll miss the train,” said Victor.

  “Can I ride with you to the station, papa?” Rita asked and their father nodded his assent.

  After a few last kisses for the children, Natalia climbed into the car and pulled the front passenger door shut behind her. With her sister in the back and father behind the wheel, they moved off down the dirt track. Natalia waved one hand out the window all the way up and over the rise until they were out of sight. On toward the village, Natalia was struck by an unexpected exuberance. She was off to see the world! For the first time in her life, it truly was wide open.

  “I’ll bet you’ll meet some cute Italian boy and never come back,” said Rita.

  “Maybe I’ll bring him back with me.”

  “Ha!” Rita laughed out loud.

  “What’s so funny?” her father asked.

  “What Italian boy would want to live here?” Rita continued.“I just hope he has a cute brother!”

  “You know I already have Vitaly.” As soon as Natalia spoke the words, she wondered if they were true.

  At the train station, Victor carried Natalia’s suitcase to the platform where Sonia stood waiting beside her mother and Svetlana. “There she is!” Sonia waved happily.

  “All ready for your big adventure?” Svetlana asked with a quick smile.

  “As ready as I will be,” Natalia replied.

  “I have your passport here.” Svetlana pulled the brand new document from her bag and handed it over; burgundy on the cover, with the Moldovan coat of arms embossed in the center. Natalia opened the first page to see her photo staring back. “Look at this papa,” she said, “My own passport!”

  Victor merely grunted, but she could tell he was impressed. His daughter was the first in his family ever to have one.

  “Let me see, let me see!” Rita snatched the passport from Natalia’s hand. “Wow! I want one of these.”

  “No!” said Victor. “One daughter running off is enough.”

  “Aw, it’s just not fair…”

  Natalia took the passport back as a relic of a train rolled into the station, boxy green engine belching black smoke into the sky. The ancient, rusting cars slowed to a stop beside the platform and Natalia kissed her father on the cheek before holding Rita in a long, last embrace. By the time she let go, Sonia and Svetlana were already climbing on board.

  “Come on, it won’t stop long!” said Sonia.

  Natalia followed them up the carriage steps, turning back to take the suitcase from her father’s outstretched hands. His cheeks flushed red. “Be careful out there,” he said, though the true depth of feeling was conveyed by his eyes. Natalia paused where she was, touched by his uncharacteristic show of emotion. Her father, who had always been larger than life, suddenly seemed so very small.

  “Don’t worry about me,” said Natalia. “We’re a family of strong women, remember?”

  Victor allowed himself to smile. “How could I forget?”

  “Goodbye, father.” Natalia moved on into the carriage, hoisting her bag onto a luggage rack before finding a seat by the window.

  “We’re off!” said Sonia from the seat just across. “I can hardly believe this day has finally come.”

  As the train eased forward, Natalia kept her eyes on her father, with hands pushed deeply into his pockets. Beside him, her sister waved enthusiastically with one hand while holding her phone in the other to film the scene for posterity. “So long, don’t forget us!” Soon they were out of sight as the train picked up speed until it was sailing along the iron tracks, a rhythmic click-clack, click-clack, click-clack keeping time. Tomorrow they would see Odessa and the Black Sea. Natalia leaned her head against the window as the little village of Drosti faded into the distance.

  Chapter Six

  Climbing off the train, Natalia was assaulted by the noise, hustle and bustle of Odessa’s ma
in railway station. She’d never seen so many people in one place, and all of them intent on where they were going, hurrying along with grim determination. It made Tiraspol seem quaint by comparison. Natalia gazed upwards to marvel at the glass panels arcing high above their heads, held in place by rusting iron beams.

  “Stay close, I don’t want to lose you.” Svetlana ushered the girls down the platform and out the main door to the street.

  “Taxi? Do you need a taxi?” Eager cab drivers converged on the new arrivals.

  “My car is right here!” One man waved an arm to show them a beat-up gypsy cab parked at the curb. Svetlana ignored him, continuing on instead to the official taxi stand where she said a few quick words to a driver with central Asian features and dark, straight hair. He loaded their bags into his trunk. Sonia and Natalia settled into the back seat. Svetlana took the front and they were off, Natalia watching out the window as they moved through the city in all of its chaos and glory; giant buildings and crowded sidewalks, roadways throbbing with traffic. Mostly she looked at the people, as though she might somehow divine what was going through their minds. What was it like to live in such a city? Her heart raced at the prospect.

  When they arrived at the ferry dock, Svetlana opened her purse and pulled out enough money to pay the cab fare. Even such a simple transaction was enough to mystify Natalia. Did the man expect exact change? Or should there be a tip? Should Natalia contribute? All she knew for sure was that these nuances of big city life were wholly beyond her. When they’d retrieved their bags at the curb, Svetlana led the girls into the terminal building. Through windows on the far side, Natalia saw a massive white ship tied up to the dock. Giant blue letters adorned the hull: UKR FERRY. Smoke streamed upwards from a single blue smokestack. “Yuzhnaya Palmyra,” Natalia mouthed the name written across the bow as she took a few steps closer to get a better look.

  “Natalia!” Svetlana chided her. “Don’t wander off!”

  “I’m sorry.” Natalia felt like a scolded child.

  “We need to meet the others,” Svetlana added.

  “Others? What others?”

  “There they are!” Svetlana waved across the hall to three girls about Natalia’s age who stood together under a large round clock, their own luggage resting on the floor nearby. Svetlana moved across to greet them, planting kisses on their cheeks in turn. “Hello, hello! I hope you weren’t waiting long!”